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Sunday, May 10, 2015

Mother's Day

My Mom died in 1991 from colon cancer. I was 28 and devastated. My life had been falling apart back then so I ran away for 3 years. Since then, I've never done anything for Mother's Day. But this morning, I've chosen to look at Mother's Day through a different lense and leave regret, hurt, guilt and shame aside.

I'm sorry for all of the stupid things I did, all of the wretchedly poor choices I made and sorry fords playing selfishness like an adolescent well into my 20's. I'm sorry for all of the worry and hurt that I put her through. 

Mother's Day is usually a non-holiday for me.But today, I will honour her and show gratitude. 

I'm grateful that...

Mom always put others first.
Mom showed me self-discipline by example.
Mom laughed to laugh and a wacky sense of humour.
Mom was a talented artist, she drew, painted, designed and made clothes, she played the piano well and had a beautiful singing voice.
Mom was fun to be with.
She was adventurous and loved driving into the city or checking out unmarked country roads.
Mom loved animals.
Mom was "green" decades before it became a political stance or a marketing gimmick.
Mom was curious and had a thirst for knowledge and an enthusiasm for sharing her discoveries.
Mom was a natural teacher.
Mom cared for a beautiful vegetable, fruit and flower garden.
Mom was an awesome cook.
Mom was a crusader for beliefs whether they were political, moral or spiritual.

I try to honour her by...
Having come back home and created a relationship with Dad in his final years
Learning to cook and appreciate whole foods
Learning to garden
Adding the back porch that she dreamed of for years
Keeping her piano in tune and learning to play
Composting and caring for the earth in the choices I make
Cooking some of her recipes
Restoring her bicycle and riding it to work
Being curious and well-read and sharing my enthusiasm with my friends and students
Creating music
Creating art through photography
Feeding birds and appreciating their presence in the yard
Practicing gratitude every morning by observing quiet time upon waking like she did.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom!